Monday, July 31, 2017

Does Divorce Really Have To Be Fuelled By Hate? (Hint: No It Does Not)

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It’s one of life’s harshest realities, but a large percentage of relationships break up. Depending on the studies you read, divorce rates could be anything from one in four to one in two. Couples can fall apart for many different reasons and, for many people, the natural pathway is one fuelled by hatred. After, giving up on someone that you love seems a lot easier when you learn to hate them. Or at least that’s the theory.
 
In reality, though, feelings of mutual hatred can make divorce even messier. It doesn’t need to be that way, and here’s why.
 
Better For You
 
There’s no point in sugarcoating the fact that divorce is going to hit you hard. However, staying civil will help your heart. Not only will it enable you to gain closure and appreciate the good things that came out of the marriage. But it’ll also enable you to move on with the rest of your life far sooner.
 
It’s slightly different if you were in a dangerous relationship. If, like most divorcing couples, you simply drifted apart, you still want each other to be happy. Just because it won’t be with each other, that shouldn’t be an excuse to hate each other. While you’re not going to be close friends, being polite to each other is advised.
 
Better For The Kids
 
Divorce is naturally a little tougher when children are involved. If you let your hatred get the better of you, a child custody lawyer can use it against you. More importantly, though, you need to stay amicable for the sake of the kids.
 
Both parents should form a united front when breaking the news to their kids. It will be a big blow for them to take, but children are resilient. As long as they know that they are loved by mommy and daddy, they will be just fine.
 
Better For The Extended Family   
 
When you get married, you don’t just take on a partner. You take on their entire family, and you will inevitably make friendships along the way. Those bonds can become jeopardized by a bad breakup. If you stay on civil terms with your ex-partner, though, there’s nothing to stop those links lasting.
 
There’s still a very good chance that the two families will cross paths at various times in the future. Whether it’s at parties, graduations, or other events doesn’t matter. Knowing that those celebrations can be enjoyed without friction makes life easier for everyone. After all, those friends and relatives don’t deserve to become the victims of your breakup.
 
The Verdict
 
When a relationship heads towards its conclusion, there will be arguments. While a little anger is healthy, you can still work together to reach a suitable outcome for everyone involved. Ending this chapter in a positive manner will allow you to start the next in a positive one too. Even if it feels difficult, the benefits of staying civil are clear to see.

xoxo,
Therese

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