Monday, January 30, 2017

Why Staying Civil Will Help Your Heart Heal


Love conquers all…. Or does it? Despite our best efforts, relationships and marriages fall apart. If love breaks down on the wrong footing, it’s easy to get caught in a cycle of arguments. If that happens, remember that there’s nothing to be gained from tearing chunks out of each other. It may be hard to remember, but you loved that person once. Letting that love turn to hatred won’t poison anyone more than you. So, how can you stay amicable during a breakup? It might not be easy, but it’s possible. Whether you were married or living together, it’s important to stay on good ground. It will allow you to disentangle your lives in the most painless way possible. These tips should help you keep things friendly.


DON’T PLAY THE BLAME GAME

The blame game is a sure way for things to turn bitter. We’ve all been there. The easiest way to get through your breakup is to blame the other person for everything that went wrong. Remember that poison we spoke about? This is a sure way to let it into your life. Take a step back. Think about whether you’re being fair. Just because things fell apart, doesn’t mean anyone’s to blame. That can be hard to accept if your relationship fell apart because of something like infidelity. Even so, you deserve better. Don’t give the other person more power than they deserve by wasting time on unhelpful arguments.


GET HELP

It can be useful to get help during your breakup. We often like to keep these things behind closed doors, but that can get messy. Opening that door and letting an outside source in can be the best thing. You’re going to have to meet up with your ex a few times while you get things in order. If you can’t do that alone, why not meet in the presence of mutual friends? That doesn’t mean you have to drag them into petty arguments. It just means that you can use their presence as an excuse to stay civil. If it’s a divorce you’re struggling with, help is even more important. The help of friends might not cut it, though. Divorce lawyers like those found at Out of Court Solutions could be your best bet.

ACCEPT YOU MAY NOT BE BEST FRIENDS

Accepting that you and your ex may not be best friends straight away is important. Trying to be too friendly too soon can put undue pressure on you. This will only lead to more arguments. Staying civil doesn’t mean you have to meet up for coffee every day. It just means that you don’t have to be at each other’s throats. Accept that you need time away from each other to heal. Accept, too, that you may not be able to get that time until you’ve sorted the technicalities of your separation. This isn’t to say that you can’t be friends in the future. For now, though, don’t over complicate things by expecting too much.

Love is complicated and you have to accept and love yourself to be able to move on. What are your healing tips in this kind of situation? Comment down below.

xoxo,
Therese
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