Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Love: Interracial Marriage - Kapamilya Konek Guesting

Last June 7th, we were invited to guest in Kapamilya Konek at DZMM Teleradyo, a national radio show/tv simulcast to give some advice about interracial marriage. This actually happened within a very short notice (2 days) and since me and Travis doesn't have any schedule for the weekend we agreed to guest at the show. We are actually excited since this is our 1st time to be invited as a guest speaker. We are not experts with love and relationships and we're just sharing our own opinion with things within the topic.

(c) Nhej Naldoza FB

Here are just some suggestions if you are interested to date foreign men (by Travis)

1. Age: Be realistic about what you want. Many men who are in their retirement years of 60 or higher do not wish to have children. Make sure you are clear about what you want and don’t want. Ensure not to simply appease a man and agree to something out of fear of losing him or financial support. Most women want children and it is selfish for a man to force you to accept this unreasonable demand, which in fact violates what a marriage is about: procreation and family. Also, huge gaps in age can lead to a sudden loss of financial support if an elderly mate passes away suddenly. Other points to consider is the energy a younger woman may possess in not only daily life but in her sexual life and this may not match up well with an elderly mate. And think as well you could be a widow and single mother at an early age. Not to say an older spouse is a bad thing, it is not. However, be aware of the potential dangers and be smart about it.

2. Personal Appearance: Many Filipinas obsess over their looks. We can simply look to the hoardes of skin whitening products on the market and most faces on tv are white even in an  oriental country such as the Philippines. The fact is most westerners find dark skin (as well as light) exotic. There are many reasons why men find Filipinas to be amazing wives, and we would be remiss if we disregard the natural beauty that the Filipina possesses. Also, being a certain height or weight is not as big a deal as women may think. In fact, many western men find curves very appealing, just look at the success of voluptuous models and actresses in the west.

3. Religion and Values: The Philippines is a dynamic Catholic country and should be proud of that. A woman normally is seen as the one who oversees the children’s religious upbringing and values. If it were up to many men, just about nobody would go to church and there would be a bar and house of ill repute would line every street.  So, the mothers are the ones to instill the values. Make sure you are comfortable with the religious philosophy of your husband and his family, because a dual religion home is a weak one. No matter what anyone says about being open minded: when raising children you need the church in your life and their life. For centuries the Church has been a bedrock of support in the country and the foundation of daily life. Do not convert to another religion simply because of a man. That will hurt not only your children but your own family and potentially your relationship not only with your husband but with God. And do not be influenced by liberal ideas from abroad when it comes to issues such as abortion,gay marriage and divorce. The Philippines is a rare exception as a country that does not turn it’s back on God and makes the family unit the strongest it can be no matter what others say. Remember, it is harder to stand for what is moral, right, and just than to be a coward and go along with the most current facebook posting. Stand with tradition, God, and the values that have made this a great country. Don’t sell out your beliefs and religious convictions.

4. Safety and common sense: If you would not strip off your clothing and pose nude for the guy down the street why would you do it for some stranger thousands of miles away on a webcam? Self respect, security, and common sense must be paramount in any potential relationship. If a man continually refuses to show himself on webcam after various sessions, requests you to send money, or to be quick to be intimate on the computer, be very wary. Don’t scam others and don’t get scammed. Scammers, on both sides, give their respective countrymen a bad reputation, so don’t do it.

5. Know that not all foreigners are wealthy, far from it. The cost of living in the west is astronomical when compared to the Philippines. Yes, a salary may be $3000 a month, but taxes and deductions can quickly take it to $2400.00. Then rent. The average rent for a modest one bedroom apartment in a moderate size city can easily run $1300 with utilities. Then add gasoline, car insurance, groceries, health insurance premiums, and other expenses and you are quickly at $2000.00. Still rich?

6. Moving abroad: Make sure you know what you both want. Some men wish to reside here in the Philippines, while others choose to return to their home countries or other places. Discuss what you both want. And know, if you move abroad, you may need to work simply to help make ends meet at home with your husband. Be prepared for this, as many who come to the Philippines are in a vacation mode. This quickly ends once we get back.

7. Family Support: This is a very hot topic. Some women wish for their husband to fully support their families. Some would never ask. Some families are self supporting. Discuss this very important detail before getting into a serious relationship. In the west, normally help is given to family members but in a limited sense. Everyone is expected to provide for themselves to the extent they can until retirement age and they get social security. Even then some help is needed, but it is rarely expected or taken for granted as you will easily see some  senior citizens working jobs in fast food restaurants and stores in the west in order to supplement their social security.

There are so many more reasons that we can add on the list, we all have our preferences and opinions about the matter as well. Feel free to give us feedback or post a comment.

Kapamilya Konek Guesting

I hope you guys enjoyed this post and will definitely post more about my experiences being married to a foreigner (with my hubby Travis of course). You can check out the Married Life tab for more!


Therese Glenn

Be First to Post Comment !
Post a Comment